the V word

whiteout.

2012-02-11T19:13:00.000-08:00

Silence

I sit on my white sheets

And stare off at my white walls

Silence ‘cept for that trickle

The trickle that peeps from my eye’s edge

And slowly slide its way down my cheek

I heaved

Breathing in the silence

Peace at last.

Years of praying for a silent moment

Finally made its descent

I breathed it all in.

But there was no peace.

Just my entanglements

The self loathe and the self pity

that stared emptily back at me.

I hugged myself

As if to say I’ll be alright

In this white silent world

The silence now comforting

As I slid beneath my white sheets

Another tear trickles

Soaking my white kingdom

I blinked and watched

As my world engulfs

In the sound of those

Trickle drops

Invading my silence

I heaved again

And prayed for peace.

catburglar.

2012-02-06T18:34:00.000-08:00

breakin' in those trackies.

sat.night.fever.

2012-01-27T19:01:00.000-08:00

hello dah-lings!

trying to show off me smokey eye make-up.

clearly not very good at it. still.

travelogues.

2012-01-09T00:19:00.000-08:00

2012- present day, and 10 days late- My Resolution.

1.TRAVEL (more)
2.Document those TRAVELS
3.Be deliriously happy- ALL the time
4.Wear my masks well
5.Sell Everything in my closet (well, almost everything)
~~6.Buy more shoes~~

Thou shall not be tempted by 'further reductions'

Right! I'm all set for 2.0.1.2.

Armageddon?

Bring it on.

I've got just the perfect ~~shoes~~ attitude.

landmarks.2012.Pt.2.

2012-01-09T00:00:00.000-08:00

Bonjourno 2012!

landmarks.2012.Pt.1.

2012-01-08T23:52:00.000-08:00

ciao ciao 2011!

skye's.man.of.storr.

2011-12-13T16:58:00.000-08:00

x conquered x

5 down

more to go.

girlcrush.

2011-11-16T17:06:00.000-08:00

'nough with the boys already.

xxx

messing.around.10.11.11

2011-11-09T16:54:00.000-08:00

i've relocated.
to another island.
success.
been a hectic 2 months getting everything ready and settled in.
its cold. dark. and almost always grey.
any guesses where i'm at?

in my head: rent's such a bitch.
to 'bangs' or 'not to bangs'?
outfit post? sometime soon.
the boy.

child.like.

2011-08-16T20:11:00.000-07:00

duck. 17 years old.

                  rabbit. 23 years old.

hola.

2011-07-29T12:18:00.000-07:00

after a lousy week
its nice to come home to this;

ANNA
Hi love! Where are you in .

Malasia? I was doing some tai chi today and I was thinking with you..how is your live? Would you like to come to spain to visit me?

unedited.

2011-07-29T11:43:00.000-07:00

chillin' last weekend.

thepilgrimage.bangkok.

2011-07-02T07:40:00.000-07:00

thehairissue

2011-07-02T03:16:00.000-07:00

straight

wave

i'mwatchingyou.watchingme.

2011-06-20T10:14:00.000-07:00

hello. bug-eyed wanderers.

closetcleanout.

2011-06-18T22:15:00.000-07:00

no.

these aren't mine.

but a girl can dream.

time to clean out the closet.

to fund for more ~~louboutins~~. trips.

wk28/5-4/6/11

2011-06-05T01:24:00.000-07:00

get.me.out.of.here.

2011-05-06T10:29:00.000-07:00

I'm stumped. I walked out of an aesthetic clinic. feeling well- stumped.
and flabbergasted.
and somewhat angry.
I go to my first ever 'advance' treatment facial (they use a machine-operated metal-node rather than their hands)
and saw absolutely no effects on my face- lets face it, fine lines? saggy cheek? double chin?? Screw the creams and facials- go for what REALLY works- surgery, botox, filler- I'm sure you've all heard of 'em- cost-effective and a sure guarantee for results. But I've digressed.
I was at this clinic and walked out feeling alright- it wasn't fantastic but it wasn't bad either UNTIL you get the consultant.
No she didn't really push on the sales.
she wasn't very enthusiastic either.
She asked if i was interested in buying a facial package (5 or 10 sessions)
I wasn't. Facials and me - in a clinic= NO. I'd prefer it in the comforts of my home.
BUT I do venture out, every now and then when there's a good deal out.
So instead of just facials- I said I'd like to give IPL a try. (I did- really)
She goes on to say that she charges $25 for a trial BUT that, thats the student rate BUT that she would be willing to accommodate me with that rate.
She then says that she'd give me 10 sessions for $250.
WOW.
That was bloody fantastic!.
'Great- book me in for a trial!'
She stops.
She looks at me and says 'no'. NO trial. I pay $250 upfront for my 10 sessions.
Thats where I'm flabbergasted.
Then WHY did you tell me it was $25 for a TRIAL?

'Wait a sec, so you're asking me to sign up for 10 sessions without giving me a trial first? What happens if I get some sort of allergic reaction? (far-fetched) What if I don't like your therapist? What if I don't like the 'vibe' of your clinic?'
I sure as hell ain't gonna continue my TEN sessions if I didn't feel comfortable. (can you imagine? It'd be like knocking on hell's door TEN friggin' times!)

She looks blankly at me and tells me AGAIN, $250 for 10 sessions of IPL is very cheap already. (as if I should get it- that i was asking too much when asking for a trial first)
OK.
I stare back.
OK.
So because $250 is not worth anything to YOU, you think I would and SHOULD just drop $250 just like that without having gone through a trial.
YOU who don't give a damn if I'd come back again once I've paid.

I'm angry I sat through those words- the implication of those words- "its already $250 for 10 f'ing sessions- so cheap already, so you can just pay up". As if the $250 meant nothing.
What if I don't like the treatment? the therapist? Its as if to say- its only $250, pay up and SUCK IT UP ALREADY!
What could you possibly expect from something that's so cheap?

She stares at me still- blankly and uninterested in whatever I had to say. She knew I wasn't caving. There was a roomful of girls outside who was just waiting to be 'beautiful'.
Oh well.
Thank you for your time-I said- Could I get your name card so that I may consider, I asked.
Sure. She leads me out, searches for a card and hands me one.
'And you are-' my eyes hovers over the card.
Nothing.
'oh'.
She grabs the card back and scribbles her name.
I smiled.
Thanks b!#$!%
Now get me the fuck outta here.

weekendwork.out.

2011-03-28T00:45:00.000-07:00

bored.om.

2011-03-10T23:01:00.000-08:00

waiting.

for.

the

week.

end x.

makeupandkayaking.

2011-03-09T23:57:00.000-08:00

went kayaking last weekend-through the mangroves of Pulau Ubin.

It pissed rain halfway

'pissed' is probably an understatement. 

lets try..

REALLY POURED

In between peddling like crazy before our kayak floods,

lightning strikes in the middle of the estuary

and

trying to see through the flood of my black drippin' mascara

I took time out and thank my lucky stars

that i had a cap.

And also made a mental note.

DON'T wear make up while kayaking.

oh.

I also thanked the stars i made it back ALIVE.

penguinsonasunday

2011-02-27T07:38:00.000-08:00

REALLY excited...

Meet Penguin 2.0

bigger and fluffier than the last

the real deals- posing for the money shot

the Emperors- mirror mirror on the wall- who's the biggest of them all?

Stoppin' for a scratch

and a chit chat

Looks like....

I am the biggest of 'em all.

Sorry Emperor.

'least you got the heaviest of them all.

nightnight.

2011-02-22T07:49:00.000-08:00

meet penguin.

wantlist2011

2011-02-21T05:48:00.000-08:00

a 'blue' blue dress- so pretty you gotta say it twice.

balenciaga leathers

supa' short leather shorts + YSL tributes

wardrobe classics- grey jerseys

my constant obsession.

equipment silk shirt

convosandfaces

2011-02-10T19:30:00.000-08:00

the familia.

old.vs.new

2011-02-09T19:32:00.000-08:00

the ultimate new 'old' wedding dress

the 'new' dream outfit - nothin' but a shawl

somewhereintheglens

2011-02-06T23:36:00.000-08:00

2007- went up to Scotland to see Nessie. didn't catch sight of nessie instead ended up biking the glens.
in the rain. with a faulty bike.
This one's where 'Braveheart' was shot.
for FREEDOM.

i run.

2011-02-01T11:36:00.000-08:00

i want to run

as far as i can dream of going

i'm empty

and hollow

though they're the same

they're really not

whats left of me

this place i've been in

cackles and smoulders

like hell's just blown over

rooted in heat

the heart burns with desires

completely faithless

utterly listless

the cycle continues

the dwellings of mistrust

complete utter misery.

the devil has won.

one day

i will run

up to my heart's content

i will run.

run out of this body

run out of this soul

souless

and free

i will claim back whats good

little by little

claim back whats left

the little good i have inside

no needs for a body

nor a dying spirit

just the little heart thats left

the little piece of good

one day

i'll be fine

one day

i will stop running

and there will be no more need to run.

but until then,

i will run.

sapaholiday

2011-01-18T22:51:00.000-08:00

Early morning,

cocks are choking (or so i thought)

and pigs are gettin' it on- uh huh

Charcoals smokin' for warmth.

you bath yourself and 10 minutes later-

you're dirtier as ever

smellin' like ash-

you wonder why you bother with a COLD shower in the dead of winter anyways,

winter- so cold, the buffaloes fall dead-one by one

Boggled up train schedule's

had us sleeping in front of our hotel for 2 hours-

in the DEAD of winter.

children's footsteps haunts you

as you walk from village to village

pitter pattering around you

chanting 'candy? candy? CANDY!?'

a lil boy sling shots me arm

and i show him who's boss -

the 'I will KILL you if you don't start running NOW' stare.

Up a mountain we went,

in search for gorgeous views and the elusive falls

'How much longer?'

'How much steeper?'

'Where the hell is FLAT land?'

'Is there going to be a DOWN to this bloody mountain!!??''

'Where are the paths!!?'

'Is that a TWIG as a bridge??'

'I have to go over THAT!?'

'THATs the waterfall!? is that IT?'

*sighs

Made it back alive

Tired and sore

Early morning sitting outside our hotel

hotel's not open 24 hrs here- who knew!?

Boy's cold as hell

Me thinking- 'Gosh I need me blusher and chapstick'

Don't wanna look like the bloody walking dead when the porter boy welcomes me into the hotel.

Decides when the hotel opens- I need the world wide web

Concierge puts me behind a desk with a computer

I'mma happy chick

Until a lady walks by and wishes me good morning.

in Vietnamese

Boy walks over- 'I think she thinks you work here'

I stared back incredulously- HUH?

He points at a sign in front of me comp-

'TRAVEL DESK'

ppffft.

differentfaces.differentspaces.

2011-01-12T20:14:00.000-08:00

 the bohemian.

the princess.

the urban chic.

 the student.

the lady.

which one's you?

onabetternote.....

2010-12-28T20:35:00.000-08:00

I'm climbing Mount Fanispan this New Years.

    For all those of ya who are not climbing along with me,

Have a SUPER FLY Holiday.

*roars* xxx

myhumbleabode.

2010-12-12T03:59:00.000-08:00

its been almost 6 months since i've moved.

to move in with the boy.

i miss my own place.

i'm.not.asian.i'm.oriental.

2010-12-08T23:29:00.000-08:00

'xxx'

sat.ur.day.

2010-12-04T06:51:00.000-08:00

at home.

bitchin' about my bloody toothache.
to my poor boy.

i'minwonderland.

2010-12-02T20:42:00.000-08:00

               we fell down a hole.

                           and we do not want to be disturbed.

mondayrocks.

2010-11-28T18:38:00.000-08:00

finally. 

a fashion post.

i die. for these.

happyholidays.

2010-11-26T00:55:00.000-08:00

waaaaay back when i was a young 'un

my dad and i would go for walks

somewhere along the way,

I'd press me nose against the windows of this one toy store

and hoped that you would be mine on my next birthday.

or the next

or the next

.

.

or the next

.

.

.

that was some 20 years ago.

Happy Thanksgiving xx 

walkin' on cloud 9.

2010-11-21T21:50:00.000-08:00

so i'm home now and as sick as can be. 

completely bed ridden and throwin' up every ounce of food that slides down me throat.

was it all worth it? 

a pictures tells a thousand words- dang'- is that how it goes?

thegreatescape.

2010-11-21T21:39:00.000-08:00

48hrs of sleep on a long weekend

8hrs of work on loooong weekdays.

sooner or later - u snap- or at least I do.

what do I do when that happens?

U make a run for it.

as far from home as money can buy.

In my case- north of Vietnam- amongst the borders of China brought me crashing back to 'life'.

thesweetescape.

2010-11-06T00:31:00.000-07:00

you know those days when you wake up and you think- time to get on out of this place and MOVE to ANY- friggin' place and you check for bus tickets- train tickets- plane tickets- and they're all SOLD OUT?! Its as if the forces of the universe conspires to keep you HERE. but for what?  I've just slept for the last 48 hrs straight only to wake up to a splitting headache from 'over' sleeping- why is that even possible!?

How is it even possible that I don't know what to do with myself when I haven't got a job to rush too.....where did the rest of my life go??

thestateofme.

2010-10-21T10:13:00.000-07:00

Back in the day- I used to drink.

ALL day long.

Expresso martini- morning- for the 'apparent' perks that life has to offer. SOOO darn early in the morning. 

vodka redbull - lunch break- the extra crunch needed for bloody lengthy discussions of evolution during tutorial.

sambuca shots- evenings at work,  we call it-  the pre-work shots???

Work = housepours after housepours after housepours plus a few feel good shots in between. (sorry boss) 

after work= after party= coffee tequilas all night long.

Dawn- tequila sunrise to sober up-it IS mostly orange juice. 

inevitably- i looked like shite and stank like a drunkard.

 oh how i miss thy.

luxlife

2010-10-19T03:28:00.000-07:00

nothin' but the bare necessities-

raw wood framed box bed + organic lace bra to lounge in 

my perfect tuesday....

instead

i'm stuck at work ho-hummin' about the fire that may have taken place in biopolis.

which i later realized was just a haze.

chemical fires avoided. 

darn.
  

letsgophoto-shoppin'

2010-10-18T00:11:00.000-07:00

 can you spot the difference?

the above photos are the results of my  none existing photoshoppin' skills.

i do have a diploma in design-but.

it HAS been some years back now.

midweekblues.

2010-10-07T01:47:00.000-07:00

i miss my blue bed.

titfortats

2010-10-05T02:12:00.000-07:00

25 years old

17 years old

26 years old

and still more to come.......

alazydaysconvo.

2010-09-28T19:53:00.000-07:00

Ed: how u been?
Villien: busy and lazy ...
Ed: ya'll have to teach me that one
Villien: its ez
Villien: u're suppose to be busy
Villien: but u're too lazy arse to care
Villien: so u take ur own sweet time to be busy
Villien: which kinda makes u even busier
Ed: lol haha facinating
Villien: but u really don"t wanna rush- cuz...
Villien: u're too lazy
Ed: u seem to have it to a science
Villien: yup

Villien: i've nailed this one.

whitewashedredeyegirl

2010-09-06T08:57:00.000-07:00

the result of too much work and too much playing pretend.

wishlist A/W2010

2010-08-24T00:31:00.000-07:00

my winter wish list:

1. Prada jeweled clasp transparent clutch - for easy access to my crap.

2. a BIG snuggly cardigan with nothing but agent provocateur underneath.
3. leather harness
4. a cake-loving piglet from neverland

you reading this boy?
xx

life.in.a.nutshell.or.lemon.

2010-08-10T00:02:00.000-07:00

when life gives you sour lemons.

make sweet lemonade.

.

.

.

i think it went somethin' like dat.

cyber.futuristic.l.o.v.e

2010-07-09T00:09:00.000-07:00

since we started on the topic of LOVE. heres to the future.

and.

BEYOND.

bored cyborg girl

the 'loved-up' boy expressing his undying love

the 'damn! i can't have you- glass is in between us- i can't be arse to tear it down' longing stare.

l.o.v.e

2010-07-08T23:46:00.000-07:00

always good to wake up to roses.

Happy weekend.

fromasiatoscotland.iloveu.

2010-07-07T01:34:00.000-07:00

i woke up, went to work, came home and boo-hooed in front of the boy yesterday.

i felt trapped.

on a little island. 

      no place to climb. swim. run.

THIS CITY is KILLING ME- I screamed.

.

.

                       .
                       he said-'well. you really should use all that energy on making big money'

.....................uh-huh.

theitaliancinderella

2010-06-30T01:36:00.000-07:00

ciao ciao.

been a long time.

photo courtesy of the Sartorialist.

thats what i call 'Cinderella'.

thelion'sden

2010-06-04T01:13:00.000-07:00

this photo depicts what my room looks like 2 years ago

all the ones above- i wished i owned at some point of my life.

but really...

life's good on the messier side

still.

mydailyblues.

2010-05-26T23:59:00.000-07:00

my boss's pimped out monster lizard

a dozen blue roses.

from the boy.

my think pad of a work space.

........

i just realized my thermo flask matches my divider.

sweeeet.

ladyinblue.

2010-05-25T00:31:00.000-07:00

i'm delirious.

got my money back from KLM.

ka-chiiiing.

if i was 18 again,

i'd go out and dye my hair blue with them monies.

damnednation.

2010-05-04T20:14:00.000-07:00

right.
so my trip to bali got cancelled.
KLM
they overbooked their flight, changed to a smaller carrier- a day before the scheduled flight and were unable to accomodate passengers who didn't check in online and then BLAMED ME for not using the OPTION of internet check-in.
the lady then went philosophical on me, stating that 'In life, things are NEVER certain'.
AND then proceeded to tell me that the payment for my airline tickets were NEVER deducted from my bank account.
'scuse me!???
CHECK AGAIN beeeyatch!
believe me, I would know the money is gone. I'd been starving for 2 friggin' weeks!
@#%^&*
Now why can't you just APOLOGIZE because it was YOUR airline that FUCKED up and try and be nice to paying customers whose money you've already CLAIMED?

shoot me.

so i'm going to try this AGAIN.
Vietnam.
Ho Chi Minh City.
Tiger airways.

you betta' take me there tiger.

grandmabartender

2010-04-28T19:41:00.000-07:00

workin' it.

gettin' me daily dose of happy juice.

off to Bali tomorrow.

volcanic lava, padi fields, kecak dances, balinese massage

yippidee doo dah.

where'swally?love,vietnam.

2010-04-22T01:42:00.000-07:00

minding my business

'GASPS' friend spots girl wearing the same top as me.

big big me. and. lil' me.

ijustneedthebareneccessities.

2010-04-18T01:03:00.000-07:00

the perfect trench

skinny jeans

snakeskin clutch

colour-pop platform heels

black cashmere sweater

stirrup leggings

black pumps

'lazy day in' sweater

neutral wool pants

nude heels

love.love.love.

coffeebreak.

2010-04-14T01:07:00.000-07:00

sitting here in me office. wonderin' if i should go home and make me a cup of weasel coffee.
                  COFFEE. Coffee. coffee.
VIETNAMESE coffee.
                 smooth, caramel, chocolatee, goodness.....

                                        it shits me that it takes 20 mins to ~~walk~~ run home.

fridayfillers.

2010-04-08T23:59:00.000-07:00

i went to a doctor.
he said i could use with some fillers.
in my lips.
I stared at him.
and wondered if he was ~~right~~ sane.

dream.land

2010-04-07T23:39:00.000-07:00

so i had this sudden on set of weird dreams

the boy cheated on me.

well....no.

not really.

he dream cheated on me.

he was with another woman.

brought her back to his family

and then there's me

hiding in his room.

looking out through the keyhole.

at the BIGGer picture.

i woke up.

feeling bitter

like i haven't slept.

IT IS just a dream.

he said.

midweekmadness.

2010-04-07T22:34:00.000-07:00

i'd forgotten who made these.

but damn.

i'm payin' attention now.

boyvsgirl.

2010-04-01T01:34:00.000-07:00

suited in Giambattista Valli.

the perfect androgyny.

woman.

lace+silk

the liberty of it all.

i heart being a woman.

sometimes.

vacationvietnam.

2010-03-24T01:47:00.000-07:00

hanoi. for a week

FINALLY.

after ALL those months ~~stalking~~ refreshing Tiger airway's link.

will miss the boy though.

bye bye boy.

be nice.

sundaymorningrain'sfalling.

2010-03-21T23:52:00.000-07:00

macha latte

hot pots

ghostly encounters

vietnam's 'things to do list'

dinner + movie with the boy

fast asleep by midnight.

i think i might be boring.

bellisima.bella.

2010-03-19T02:08:00.000-07:00

blk&white. vs. colour.

thought of the moment.

fo' friday.

and of course, the obvious.
what to eat?

vhat to EAT?

liveinmydream.

2010-03-16T23:11:00.000-07:00

fra.la.la.la

nothing else matters.

just the girl with the red soles.

whistle.tistle.whistle.

2010-03-12T01:22:00.000-08:00

black.is.the.new.black.

really.

it.is.

for.2010.
touche.

runningsleepytime.

2010-03-08T20:34:00.000-08:00

sometimes you just want to run

away.

from everything.

i'm tired.

bloody womanly cycles.

literally.

happylilgirls.

2010-03-03T07:04:00.000-08:00

i'm so happy i'm sad. lazing in the woods of my mind. thoughts wandering back to way back when. images caged. floating through my gaze. my memories. the memories. the sound of your voices. the looks of glee. those hysteric fits of laugher. holed up in our hole. pipes broken. leaking roofs. radiators busted for the winter. we danced through it all. in the cold. through those nights. all those hugs. all the loves. those sleepy movie nights in. american idol bitchfest. blueberry cupcakes. birthday cakes gone cookies. and wonky cashew sunflower seed chinese noodles.
the space between me and you. such a distance now. taking its toll. those memories,blurred. im so happy im sad. all just memories now.caged. taunting me. reminding me. all those years spent living. breathing. living. the friendships. the hearts. the love. those lessons. together with all of you. just memories. now.

'the world is our oyster.and we know it. we lived it. i'll be there whenever and wherever you need me-wherever you are' - my blessed friend.

weekendparadise.

2010-02-19T00:42:00.000-08:00

off for a break this week.

much needed.

after ALL the dramas.

I'm hungry.

can't decide between pasta or fries.

what are you up to this weekend?

post.vday.

2010-02-18T03:53:00.000-08:00

i asked him
blue roses or red roses?
he answers
i'll buy what ever i'm feeling.

mancrush.

2010-02-18T03:40:00.000-08:00

'its not a bag. its a satchel'

betterstrangerdays.

2010-02-11T03:37:00.000-08:00

i walked home.
heavy hearted
tired
...still wrapped up over the 'incident' from the boy.
i must have looked like i was about to cry.
i was trying not to cry.

a boy came up to me
reaches for me shoulders
and hands me a chocolate bar.
.
.
.
happy valentine's day- he smiled
i blinked and forced a smile.

'thank you'

i walked on.
and looked down at my newly acquired chocolate bar.

in those moments when you feel most unloved
it IS a miracle that a stranger can step up
and take away that pain
even for a moment.

perhaps thousands of chocolates were handed out today
to those lucky enough to pass him by.
but i'd like to think that my chocolate was my little miracle of the day

on a note attached to the chocolate were the words ' God loves you'
i don't believe in God.
but it feels good
to know that someone loves you.
no matter what.

to know that someone out there
took the time out
to hand out free chocolates
for all us lost souls.

andshelivedhappilyeverafter.the.end.

2010-02-11T01:49:00.000-08:00

so i stood there and waited. the boy looks on and gives a nod.
a girl turns and smiles. at me. and then asked- to a friend. who i was.
i turn. the boy looks on.
i smile. and waited.
nope.
nothing.
i glance over. the girl's still there.
i sigh.
and waited.
still nothing.
he grabs his bags and walks me out.
the girl asks one more time
as i pass her by
who is she?
who was she?

i don't know love.

i don't know.

aspotofcolourwilldousgood.

2010-02-10T00:22:00.000-08:00

theprincesswhoworelouboutins.

2010-02-04T03:17:00.000-08:00

she called me a princess.
yes.
damn straight.
thats what she called me.
her first impression of me- me, wearing my louboutins (NOT-they're just red-soled) and she tells me she's worried she might have to work with a princess.
Well, i'll be damned.
Bring on the fashion gods, the labels and all its gory.
since when did women became labelled 'princesses' because we're in HIGH heels?
are we that un-conformed to the reality of the 21st century women??
you know- the whole 'be tough and strong BUT still being able to retain a hint of feminism?
isn't that what HIGH heels bring to the board?
Power/SEX/Woman

Now-
she thinks i'm ghetto'.

i resign to the subjection of being judge.
first impressions count.
from the words of one of me wiser mates-

'booya mutherfuckas'

my most 'princess-y' self.

red lipstick and all.
.
.
.
least i tried with the red.

lightersexiernote.

2010-02-04T00:16:00.000-08:00

who made these babies??? !!

damn- those notes are in my documents.

somewhere.

pls be there.

pretend/not.

2010-02-03T22:48:00.000-08:00

Being here (here being in this space-time-place-continuum) makes me angry.

'Its hard to be happy here'- someone said to me- all doe-eyed and of course- SAD.

I stared back in disbelief.

FINALLY. someone summed up all my years of misery 'here'.

it IS hard to be HAPPY 'here'.

i'm angry- no- NOT grumpy even. JUST angry.

Everyday I make my way through this one bus stop.

filled with people ALL the time.

standing- walking through

knocking the gajibbies off of me

every SINGLE day.

Jay Z humming in my headphones- rappin' bout' life being a beach chair

ALL that's busting through my head though

is this incomprehensible need to feel ANGRY

with

this heat.

these people.

the noise.

the pretense.

THIS city.

City slicker-i sure ain't.

i'm going to hell.

with every single death wish i have in my head.

aren't i?

~~someone save my soul~~. *smiles*

theCOKEad.

2010-02-02T01:46:00.001-08:00

lovin' it.

science.the.world.

2010-01-27T05:47:00.001-08:00

i studied.
i worked.

london.
i was your neighbourhood GAP girl.
the 'sarcastic lil' oriental bartender in the westend's AKA END.
i moved on up to Apt 139,King's Road- Title: cocktail bartender-only the best.
i was your westend's English teacher to the Italians, the Turks, the French, the Japanese-
u name it.
Up at 7 for virology in surrey.
out by 3pm.
down to london.
behind the bar by 5pm.
gin. smokes.airkisses.jokes.coke.boys.sex.
end work-2am.
partied - till dawn.
in my lil' corner
shakin' it.

7am- southwest train. back to surrey.
aviator shades.
headaches.
booze.
9am- 101 on marine biology.

my life.
in a day.
LONDON.WATERLOO.VICTORIA.

walkwithyourheadheldhigh.

2010-01-27T04:14:00.000-08:00

i'm going to need those tight ass pants.....

and pink lowlights.
pretty please.
you hear me fairy godmother??

publicloveaffairs.

2010-01-20T07:52:00.000-08:00

Faith.

Aldo

Charles & Keith

Nine West

20.1.2010.

2010-01-20T07:36:00.000-08:00

This post came late.
But really, I'm never early.
This year-
all I really want
is to be on top.
.
.
.
.
.
of ANY mountain.
climb and conquer.
Here's to 2010.

liquidmetal.

2009-12-30T07:09:00.000-08:00

dress.me.please.

2009-12-30T06:59:00.000-08:00

the perfect LWD.

rockin' up round town

sexy knits

lil Blac' Dress

evenin' with the girls

daisy.lovely.

2009-12-12T05:56:00.000-08:00

pretty.me.

ciaobella.

2009-12-12T05:48:00.000-08:00

mybf'sbf'swedding.

2009-12-10T06:13:00.000-08:00

I went to my boyfriend's best friend's wedding last week.
who also happens to be my ex.
Life's full o' those freak surprises.

Spent weeks worrying about what to wear. WHAT.TO.WEAR.
typical of me.
ended up buying a $59 dress A day BEFORE the wedding.
then freaked that i looked like a sack of potatoes without a belt.
i NEED a belt!
poor boyfriend bought not one but TWO belts.
wore ANOTHER one instead.

sigh*

i love being such a girl. sometimes.

quick snap.

cheap but good.beautiful.dress.
last minute silk sash.
stella mccartney heels.

off to party with the ex'es.
life's good.

somethinglikelove.

2009-12-09T22:14:00.000-08:00

"A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left." - Marilyn Monroe

mygoodgirl.

2009-12-06T18:34:00.000-08:00

fags on my right

A ring on my left

Empty hefty words

Pourin’ round my salted wound

The secret of life

Dangling in sight

On the tips

Of my own palm

A fag- my death sentence

A ring-a lover’s promise

Stories of my bullshit youth

Lapidating in my head

Inhale.

Exhale.

Taste those salty tears.

Inhale. Exhale.

smoking up my gaze

On my cool steel ring

A lazy afternoon

Escapading

between my soft soft sheets

the sole companions-

my Cigarettes

my Coffee

And my beautiful lover’s ring

My good girl

Have you been good?

Have you been nice?

Inhale.

Exhale.

My good girl

What have ye done?

kissesandmisses.

2009-12-06T18:13:00.000-08:00

xxx

all my love.

sex.y.

2009-12-03T19:39:00.000-08:00

i heart u.

emilio pucci.

iwanttobeyourwildthing.

2009-12-02T01:50:00.001-08:00

dragmetohell.

2009-12-02T00:34:00.000-08:00

It’s me you want
Me for the future
You have no clue
My pretty lover boy
Not a single cents worth

There’s you.
There’s me
And then there is
she.
Where should I stand
Right in the corner?

Dance around me
Watch my thoughts blur
You and her
Riding on your groin
Watch my world crumble
Those last words spoken.
I remind u of her.

Think of her then.
And watch me dance.
Search for your missing piece
And let me twirl
The glory of this story
your long lost love
At last.

Me,
There wasn’t supposed to be
But there I stood
On your beaten up track.
Loud and annoying
Your trouble’s just beginning.

Watch me dance
Me and her and you.
This ungodly triangle
There should only be two.
Here in my corner
I pray a silent wish
That you’ll be as happy
As you’ve ever made me once.

you'reswimminginmyhead.

2009-11-25T02:45:00.000-08:00

i really

don't want you

in my head.

ifiwerelil'meagainiwoulddance.dance.dance.

2009-11-25T00:15:00.000-08:00

wishlistxxx

2009-11-25T00:12:00.000-08:00

santa baby

shimmey down the chimney

with my pressies.

xxx